So we have rounds of Jager going around, well between the guys and friends. I have realized by this point I will have to drive the hour back home and should stop drinking. That doesn't stop me from making sure these guys have a GREAT time!
Hop is determined that the waitress thinks he is so cute and wants to date him. So every time she is within arms reach he grabs her like a drunken perv on pervert row at a strip club. Every time he does this she tells him he was ordering another shot, so she is ladling shots and drinks into him like his credit card doesn't have a limit. I know there were 20 jager shots, and about 10 tequila shots on his tab, and that doesn't count all the actual drinks too, nor does it count the rounds we bought.
Finally when they call for last call it is time to tab out and try to head home. Hop decides to head to the car, only he goes out the front door rather than the side door of the bar. This particular bar is on a VERY busy main highway that is only about 10 feet from the door. I grab his arm and swing him around into a chair. The bouncer asks me if I need any help and honestly I didn't Hop was so drunk that it was like flinging shot-put.
Finally I get the two boys into the car. Hop is laying down in the back seat and the other boy is in the passenger seat. We start to drive. I spend about five minutes hitting the hand of the passenger who is trying to shift my automatic vehicle like it is a 5 speed.
|This is about what I saw in the store,|
only they were prescription lenses
Back into the car and drive home, fight passenger more about not being in a five speed vehicle and FINALLY make it home!
Now I need to explain the floor plan of the house for a second. You walk in the front door and there is a wall on your left and the back of the sofa on your right. The dining room door is directly in front of you and the door from the kitchen is on the same wall as the dining room door but at the far right hand end of the room. The girls used to love running in circles from living room to kitchen to dining room and over and over again.
So the nanny is sitting on the sofa and the boys head forward into the dining room. I stop at the sofa to talk to her and the next thing I know Hop is diving head long towards the nanny coming from the kitchen door. I grab his coat and fling him on the sofa while the nanny runs around the coffee table the other direction to avoid him and escapes into the kitchen through the door he just lunged at her from. You need to play that whole event like some Looney Tunes cartoon in your head because that was the only way to describe the event.
I go into the kitchen and while I am talking to her, and we hear from the living room.....
"It was a girl I thought she was for me"
That was when the nanny left out the office door. We all went to bed and closed the doors to the living room so the girls didn't walk in on drunken Hop.
The next morning, the boys very hungover, we hear what happened in the middle of the night. Hop woke up at one point in his superman under roos on our sofa. He realized where he was and freaked out since he knew we had kids. He covered himself with sofa pillows and made it to the hall bathroom where he found his clothes. He dressed himself and went back to the living room to finish sleeping off his drunk.
|They make these for adults people! Who KNEW!?|
As we continue talking about what he remembers from the night, he says I remember we ordered a shot of Jager, then I woke up naked. SERIOUSLY?! There was so much alcohol and amusement in that loss of maybe 7-8 hours and you don't remember it! This is why Hop is the best person to party with EVER!