50 Shades of WHAT COLOR?!?!?

So technically I live in the second largest individual city in the state. However, that city is no where near the size of the other major metropolitan areas that consist of large cities adjoining each other. PLUS this town is a blue collar manufacturing town. That isn't to say it is bad, but that social make-up creates its own special melting pot of people.

I have been here 6 years, and know maybe 3 people outside of my coworkers. Most of my friends live out of state or hours away. Therefore I decided to join a certain society of women in the area that are very volunteer minded and active in the community. I wanted to become more active, promote my clothing line, and make new friends. Now these women are also very prim and proper, and in case you are new here I don't fall into that category on a daily basis. I would consider myself more of a bad ass chick that can play prim and proper on television kind of girl.

At the "coming out party" I (and others) asked for an email list of all the incoming people so that we could contact each other and possibly get together BEFORE official group organized functions. This would allow us to get to know each other better.

I think they missed the point of the book! 

At the same function the pack of already initiated members were chatting ceaselessly about 50 Shades of Grey! They were explaining in very specific detail the premise of the book and some of the specifics of events in the book! Myself and others there were laughing about the whole thing. One girl said that she would be afraid to read it because she might blush (jokingly). The second girl said that she just bought it on her phone from amazon. I quipped that I was a contributor. Much merriment was had about this book, and I begin to think how great it is that maybe these ladies are not so prim and proper on the inside either!

Fast forward maybe a week or two, the list of emails arrives, and I send out an email to ALL new people and basically say this isn't an official special society thing, but that it might be fun to get to know one another and let's meet at the "adult" store. I explain the details in very cautious terms since I get that this is still a somewhat sensitive subject and click send!

I get back about 10 responses almost immediately that they are in and heck yeah! I even got one email of thanks but no thanks, which had that air of I am uncomfortable with this and would rather not. Which is also perfectly fine.

Then Monday rolls around! I get an phone call from the introductory class teacher lady telling me that it is not okay to send any email to the group that isn't approved by her. Well lady when YOU sent us the list of emails you didn't give any stipulations about rules. That events that have the society's name on them are to be approved by them. It didn't have the name on it I even said it wasn't an official thing. Plus that she understood I had the best of intentions but that I had offended some people so seriously that they were not joining the special group now. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? The whole thing was so hilarious I had a very hard time staying even remotely respectful on the phone.

You people are all talking about a book of non-standard sexual practices and you can't stand the mere concept of going to a passion party?!?! Does anyone else see the stupidity of this? Please tell me if I am totally off base here. Did I step out of line? Was I doing something that was obviously against the grain? I get that I am abrasive, but based off my experiences in the company of these ladies I figured this wasn't a strange request really.

So I got my hand slapped. I wrote to the people that DID want to come and we are having a party and that the email the leader lady sent slapping my hand publicly was no big deal and I seriously didn't care. I gave them the time and date and they were all game! After the leader lady email went out I got even more responses to the original email of interest to attend. Including one for a boudoir photographer that is IN the introductory class with me! Yes people she takes pictures of half naked women to give to their husbands and she is also joining the group of stuffed shirts.

My name is Sweety Darlin and I have had sex! I have two kids. I have had more than one sexual partner. Sex got boring after about the first year and I started exploring new and adventurous methods of pleasure. I love new things. I am sorry that your sex life is missionary boring. I am even more sorry that you are so embarrassed that you can't admit in a private group of women that you have sex ever.

What a sad little life that must be!