Crazy Wino Roommate Girlfriend!

Okay I have to tell this story, because it is has turned into a real laugh fest.

***crazy time warp swirl***

Thanksgiving 2011, the girls are off at their dad's house, and I am hanging out at Mike's house. Now Mike has his booty call girl Ginger over too.

We are sitting in the living room looking at the bar in his house. He has decided to start collecting gallon jars of miscellaneous pickled items. Eggs, sausages, onions, whatever he can find pickled in a gallon jar. Yeah it is highly disturbing!

This is the look he is going for!

Ginger is guzzling her boxed wine and getting seriously sideways! I am on my second drink in three hours, because I am a slow drinker when in an environment I can't control. My date, George, is maybe 6 drinks in, but he is a drinker and isn't truly evil, YET. Mike is just sitting back watching the party.

She did use a glass, but this was about how fast she drank. 

Now I need to add the following statements for clarity. George loves to piss dumb drunk redneck girls off. You must read Ginger's statements slurred to the point of near unintelligible. I have dramatically reduced the 15 minute circus to the high point that I remember.

George: Those sausages need to be in a girls mouth
Ginger: What the fuck did you say? No one has ever talked to me like that.
George: Well I wasn't talking to you like anything.
Ginger: ^)#$@*&^_(*&^$%^^#$
George: What the hell is your problem, maybe you need one in your mouth to shut you the fuck up.
Ginger: Sweety you need to control your man
Me: He is a grown man I don't control him
Ginger: )*^&)*^%$&$@#*(%^_(*^(&#$%
Me: It's time to go

At this point the girl attempts to physically attack me and George, and we just leave while Mike holds her off.

***crazy time warp swirl***

Last week, I turn my phone on at 6:00 AM and there is a voice mail that came in overnight. It is crazy drunk Ginger now Mike's girlfriend and surprise she is drunk again. She babbles about how she doesn't even know why I hate her, and that she wants us all to be friends and blah blah blah.

I ignore the message, and tell George that he needs to call Mike, because they are good friends, and tell him to keep that woman off my phone.

Two days later my phone rings late one night, and the only reason it was on was because one of the girls was out on a date and I keep it on then. SURPRISE crazy drunk girlfriend on the phone drunk AGAIN! I am seeing a theme here. She is rambling about come to a BBQ, I don't know what happened, I want to be friends. blah blah blah. I just respond with we will see, and hang up.

This vaguely reflects me while listening to this freak! 

Next day, Mike calls George and is laughing that he is going to have to kick this psycho out of his house. George can hear in the background that she is sideways and physically violent. Mike gets off the phone and we haven't heard from him.

I am pretty sure that I need to send George to check on him and make sure that woman didn't kill him in his sleep! I don't associate with bad drunks, and the fact that this freak thinks she is going to get me to be her friend while she is a freakin' psycho is just hilarious!

Ladies, it really isn't attractive when you are drunk beyond functioning and violent. It just puts you in a category of women that end up getting into bar brawls.

Add some dancin' girls and you have a redneck party!