When my mother, God rest her soul, was 28 years old a doctor looked at her and said you have Stage 4 breast cancer, and with a full one-sided radical mastectomy, radiation, and chemotherapy, you might have two years to live.
I was four, and the ensuing fear I can now only imagine she felt was life changing.
My mother, aunt, 3 of my grandmothers sisters, my father's mother, and my father's aunt ALL had breast cancer. Amount my grandmother and her 8 siblings ALL of them have had some form of cancer. Therefore, my risk factors are freakishly high. I have already had two breast cancer scares in my life and get annual mammograms since I was just north of the tender age of 29. When I actually turn 40 (at some unknown time in the future) I will get to have them every six months! I have had genetic testing and was found NOT to have the markers for breast cancer, but the risk factors are still there.
Okay now for the rest of the story.... I walk in the race for the cure annually with a pack of my alcohol laden buddies, and this weekend one of those buddies informed me that she is scheduled to have surgery to remove........ (DAMNED DRUM ROLL)
Uterine, Ovarian, AND Cervical cancers. Yes that word is AND!
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| Teal Ribbons are the symbols for uterine, ovarian, and cervical cancer awareness. |
I know logically that I can't officially do anything to change this. I know that the doctors have to do their job. I know I am emotional support. I know all of the real things that I can be.
HOWEVER, the knowledge of the situation has me reeling. I am terrified if and when my day comes. How I will take this news. I like to think that I have spent years mentally trying to prepare in the event that it does happen, but at the same time having the news this close to me is making me realize there is NO FREAKING WAY you can truly be ready for some stranger to look at you and say, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but YOU'RE gonna die" Thank you William Shanter and Ben Folds for that song!
I haven't come to terms yet, I have marked my calendar for the day of the surgery, I will have my pack of pink with me and we will be there for my long time friend, but today I am gonna cry.
UPDATE: My friend is having her surgery today, and we are babysitting her granddaughter since her son has been shipped off to Colorado by the military, and couldn't come. I will be seeing her tonight after I get off work, and will take her food since she hasn't eaten in preparation for surgery.
I am a soldier in this today! I dealt with my pain and sadness and now for the battle armor! CANCER YOU CAN'T HAVE MY FRIEND!